the last day of 2011.
shall dedicate this post to my boy who's awesome somehow ♥
thank you for showing me that everything can actually be wonderful once we talk it out.
♥ the long and random conversations and how you put up with me whining when we were at TTW.
its somewhat regretful that you won't be there to write my new year resolution with me tmr, but well, we can write one for us together soon.
hopefully we will have even more awesome moments next year.
♥
cheesiness is appreciated when you know you want it (:
thanks for being pretty okay 2011. and those who made a difference to my life this year or bothered sending me a specialized xmas text. yall are ♥ed too (:

Less than half an hour before my favorite's boy birthday is officially over.
Don't feel like tweeting anymore. So. Here it is
10 Reasons why i Love Him

1. He has the most awesome smile ever. The smile that can make you feel warm, make you tear or just make you smile with him.
2. How he looks old but yet has a childish nature to him. He's always looking out for others during hard times acting as the brother, but when playing, he's always the most childish one.
3. His determination. If only I have that.
4. How he doesn't waver or give up just because of the obstacles he faces. The way he holds on to his dreams makes me want to be like that too.
5. His obsession with cats and his cuteness.
6. His so perfect voice.
7. How beneath his manly image, he has a domestic side to him.
8. His ability to study and the fact that he looks like Harry Potter.
9. His way too cheesy smile, way too cheesy choice of songs.
10. Well, he's the ideal man.

being able to tell my friends that i'm sick and that i don't feel like doing anything, but am unable to say that to my boy. why so? so dysfunctional. sigh. if you just ask, maybe i'll tell you everything right now.

"I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest. I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. Bring me soup or orange juice when I’m sick. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum. Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will kiss me in the pouring rain. I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I’m on the phone. I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked. I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I’m sick, and would play with my hair. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me."

I thought I had found the perfect one when Im able to look at the list and match what he did for me with it. But maybe life isn't about seeing how many of the things he did for you match with the perfect boy. Our imperfections that seem to match with each other, now seem to be our obstacles instead. Me refusing to talk again, and you, not remembering again.

Maybe, I haven't found what I'm looking for. Maybe. But for the longest time ever, I really thought we were perfect together.

Need food therapy soon, so that I will have the courage to continue this with you. After all, you are the only thing I want right now.

I like what we have now a lot.

But I'm just wondering, what if oneday, we revert back to the old way of communicating with each other. Where we just look at each other and smile and have random conversations. Where the only way that I can make your day is by talking to you and make you happy?

Just wondering.

But still boy, you're awesome. My most awesome sailor, so be proud of me too kayyy? (:

Boy, be proud of me.

Oneday, lets hold hands and walk around the school as if no one is staring at us.
Oneday, lets give each other a big hug when we miss each other too much.
Oneday, lets be able to look into each other's eyes and smile even when we are in front of all our friends.
Oneday, lets change our display picture to a picture of us.
One day, tell everyone that I'm your girl.

I will wait for that day to come.

HELLO MY TWINNIE IN UNI.
I guess you don't know how dependent I am on you huh
You once said that you ask me to read through your project cause I can reassure you. Same for me.
When you teach me stuff, I believe in you a lot. I still rmbed how I ask someone else for the answer and still in the end went to double-confirm it with you.
It used to be like that. My most awesome Java teacher, rmb?
Yeah, now, it seems like we don't have enough time for each other. We study together, but I no longer ask you for help, but I've to tell you that you are still my source of confidence for Java.
When you tell me I can, I'll believe in you.
It doesn't matter how good the rest are, because you are the first one that spent so much time and effort to teach me thus, I will always be grateful to you and want to rely on you for it. Understand?
I guess you don't really.
Its a very selfish mindset of mine, but then, you're my twinnie in my heart, even though you always tease me a lot.
And its like, you are the one that I believe in the most, that's why.
Because I'm sure that nobody will stop their work just to wait for me to finish.
Nobody will tell me stories when I get brain-fried from coding and don't feel like doing it anymore.
And nobody will be nagging at me, supporting me and telling me to relax simultaneously. Yeah, and also no one will put up with my temper like you do.
Cause my twinnie, that's how awesome you are. And you need to know how much I appreciate you. I will show you one day really.

my awesome second twinnie that listened to me rant for the whole night despite all his problems, thank you.
thank you for being willing to listen to me.
thank you for not judging me at all.
if anyone knows who he is, please help me tell him how grateful i am to him

srsly, you two are going to spoil me real soon. and my future boyfriend will have problems making me happy. tsk. last warning guys (:

sometimes it is so difficult that i feel like giving up already. help me keep the faith.

Day 20: what you think makes someone beautiful
Their smile (:

Day 21: everything you wish for in a significant other
Hmm. The feeling. How it feels as if its the first time I'm in love when I'm with him.

Day 22: how you judge intelligence
I dont judge people. Most of the time. I only judge....

Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why
There's no particular day where you can pinpoint you are the happiest since even though it might feel as if its the best day at that time, but when it comes to now, everything had been toned down and it doesn't feel that significant anymore.

Day 24: your favorite 10 people right now and why
BLUTO
MY META GROUP
THE MAKEUP GRP IM GONNA MEET ON SUN (:
ZEE
MY FAM
hahah, okay this is more than 10 ppl, but idc (:

Day 25: a friend you have lost that you’re better off without/one you wish you had back
Well........

So dysfunctional that I don't know how to go on anymore.
Give me strength to carry on, make me believe again.

Day 9: things that make you happy
YOU ♥
My meta grp, Zee, my family, my friends ♥

Day 10: what you think when you hear the words “be yourself”
Confusion.

Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given
Ehh, Idk?

Day 12: the best advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given
Take things slow.

Day 13: your favorite quote

If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams.

Day 14: write about something you believe in, anything at all
I believe in love at first sight.

Day 15: a song that makes you cry and why
Hmmmmm

Day 16: someone you trust
Those that know my secrets?

Day 17: your idol and why you look up to them
2PM, Suju, JAY.
For Jay, its 'cause I respect his attitude towards live and somehow I will want to be like him too.

Day 18: why you made your blog, why you still have it
To have a change, and make myself have a new start.

Day 19: your thoughts on your family
THE AWESOMEST I CAN EVER HAVE ♥

I love the way you tip-toed when trying to open the topmost locker for me.
I love the way you seem to know I'm upset cause of you and the long talks that we have later. Sometimes I really do wonder if you stalked my twitter since you seem to know when I'm starting to get upset so well.
And I love the way you make fun of me in a joking way, and doesn't force me to change the way I do things even though you might disapprove of them.
I love the way you're different from the rest. Even if its the night before my exam, instead of asking me to study and go offline, you will send me weird photos instead and make me laugh non-stop. And its only till I jokingly chided you, then you told me I can ask you anything that I don't know.
And your smile, and the random things you share with me.
I think I'm infatuated with you.

8

Day 4: how you think your life would change if you achieved your dream
Ehhh, I will be happy and contented, and maybe very proud of myself(:

Day 5: something you would change about the world
The fact that life isn't fair disturbs me alot. But it is how it is. So so be it, which means I want to change nothing.

Day 6: something you would like to change about yourself
My temper, how easily upset I get over little things and the ability to procrastinate.

Day 7: a show or a movie that has changed you, and how
Ermmmmm, idkkkkk/

Day 8: things that make you sad
Kay, lack of food, people promising me Macs for dinner and not delivering the promise, having to do homework and yet not doing it, java codes not compiling, the need for excessive sleep, walking for long distances with my ultra heavy laptop on my own, fights, not doing well for school.

UGHHHHHH, ):
have to study but I am procrastinating ):
HOWWWWWW? Time is running out and if I don't study for my AS and Java real real soon, I'll regret next week. I'm so sure of it. But thennnnn, the excessive time I suddenly have in a day makes me want to watch movies and read non-stop only.

):

4 days left till sch starts and 1 day left for studying. WHY?
Reaching sch at 8 tmr, srslyyyy, I don't even go to sch this early on normal days, why is it like this for recess week? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

비밀

1 day to recess

Day 2: something that’s illegal but you think it should be legal

Hmm. Illegal and yet should be Legal. Idk. All things are illegal for a reason right?

Day 3: what you think your reason for being here is

Cause I don't want to do part 3 of my proposal even though it is due today at 9PM.

when I don't want to share a lot of what I know about you with others,
When I share only because I want to show that I know something about you.
When I think of you in a different light,
When I feel a bit shyer with you.
You know what I mean right?
If only I know what I mean too by it.

The little things I do, the places I like, I like it because of our memories there together

Day 1

Day 1: hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself

Hope

- I want to be a stronger person.
- I want to be happy everyday.
- I want to pass year 1 with flying colors and be a year 2 senior happily

Dreams

If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams.

That's what Zack said to Cloud before he died. So my dream shall be that I want to be a hero, so that I can dream.

Plans
- Mug a lot everyday
- Continue practicing collegiality
- Be good at Java via tons of practics
- Smile a lot
- Love and appreciate my Meta grp and all those arnd me even more.

I don't think I can really last for a year, but then let's try. I'm a lot happier, because of all of you, and because, RECESS WEEK IS NEXT WEEK. YAY! (:

365 days challenge

365 day challenge

Day 1: hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself
Day 2: something that’s illegal but you think it should be legal
Day 3: what you think your reason for being here is
Day 4: how you think your life would change if you achieved your dream
Day 5: something you would change about the world
Day 6: something you would like to change about yourself
Day 7: a show or a movie that has changed you, and how
Day 8: things that make you sad
Day 9: things that make you happy
Day 10: what you think when you hear the words “be yourself”
Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given
Day 12: the best advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given
Day 13: your favorite quote
Day 14: write about something you believe in, anything at all
Day 15: a song that makes you cry and why
Day 16: someone you trust
Day 17: your idol and why you look up to them
Day 18: why you made your blog, why you still have it
Day 19: your thoughts on your family
Day 20: what you think makes someone beautiful
Day 21: everything you wish for in a significant other
Day 22: how you judge intelligence
Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why
Day 24: your favorite 10 people right now and why
Day 25: a friend you have lost that you’re better off without/one you wish you had back
Day 26: 5 things you’re looking forward to
Day 27: a person you wished lived closer and why
Day 28: something you makes you really angry
Day 29: a date you’d love for someone to take you on
Day 30: 5 favorite girls names, 5 favorite boys names
Day 31: a bit about your social life outside of tumblr
Day 32: whether you’d rather marry someone who’s rich but ugly, or poor but attractive
Day 33: someone who really hurt you
Day 34: your horoscope for today and whether you think it’s accurate
Day 35: words you live by, why do you like them
Day 36: what you think about your friends
Day 37: who are you
day 38: thoughts on your generation
day 39: wy you think you’ve learned more from the good or the bad
day 40: what are features you get complimented on a lot
day 41: write a letter to yourself stating all the things you love about yourself
day 42: your best friend just died, what is your reaction
day 43: is it possible to lie without saying a word
day 44: when is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just do what you know is right
day 45: when was the last time you tried something new
day 46: what makes you smile
day 47: is the truth always good to hear, why or why not
day 48: your life story in three words
day 49: are you a lover or a fighter
day 50: why you are doing this challenge
day 51: describe your future wedding
day 52: what is the most inspirational thing you’ve ever heard
day 52: if you didn’t have an age, how old would you think you were
day 53: your day, in great detail
day 54: your definition of love
day 55: a passage from a book that has touched you
day 56: something you did as a child that other people remember you for
day 57: what is your definition of happiness
day 58: places you want to visit, and why
day 59: one person you can tell everything to
day 60: a youtube video you absolutely love and describe why
day 61: one of your most prized possessions
day 62: describe your best friend completely
day 63: your views upon gay marriage
day 64: your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before, what do you do
day 65: one random fact about yourself
day 66: if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be
day 67: how you found out about tumblr, and why you made one
day 68: the best concert you have been to
day 69: powerful song lyrics you love
day 70: a celebrity you don’t necessarily enjoy, and why
day 71: differences between you and your best friend
day 72: list of everything you ate today
day 73: a movie you cried in
day 74: how would you describe your style of clothing
day 75: what is one of the best dreams you have ever had
day 76: how do you feel about going green
day 77: what gives you every day inspiration
day 78: would you rather people be honest with you, even if it’s something not good, or lie to you to make you feel good
day 79: why do you feel as though people judge others
day 80: one of your favorite childhood memories
day 81: what is your biggest fear
day 82: would you break the law to save a loved one
day 83: if you had to teach something, what would you teach
day 84: do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength
day 85: if you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be
day 86: what is the difference between living and existing
day 87: what are your views upon sex before marriage
day 88: does money equal happiness
day 89: are you self aware
day 90: write a letter to one of your close friends
day 91: name a book you read in school that wasn’t entirely awful
day 92: what have you learned just from attending your school
day 93: what about the opposite sex can you not understand
day 94: do you keep your thoughts to yourself
day 95: describe the weather occurring right now
day 96: what do you love the most about your grandparents
day 97: something you’ve always wondered
day 98: what would be the hardest and most fearful thing you would ever have to face in your lifetime
day 99: do you think it’s better to have a few close best friends or to have a lot of acquaintances
day 100: what is the best thing about being your age
day 101: would you like to travel abroad to learn about new things throughout the world
day 102: life lessons you’ve learned throughout life
day 103: do you believe in love at first sight
day 104: three words you cant go a day without using
day 105: describe your favorite place in the world
day 106: someone you judged by the first impression
day 107: the friendliest personn you knew for only one day
day 108: is it easier to forgive or forget
day 109: if you were a super hero, what kind of powers would you have
day 110: something that makes you happy
day 111: do you wish upon 11:11 even if it may not come true
day 112: what is the most important part in a relationship, do you think
day 113: do you believe that if you want something enough you’ll get it
day 114: do you like when people are protective over you
day 115: is it possible to be single and happy
day 116: one guy who means a lot to you
day 117: if you were to get a tattoo, what would it look like
day 118: what people in your life inspire you the most
day 119: something you hope you never have to do
day 120: what is your zodiac sign and what do you think it means
day 121: what do you think about stereotypes
day 122: which activities make you lose track of time
day 123: do you believe teenagers can fall in love
day 124: have you ever had feelings for someone who was seeing someone else
day 125: have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy
day 126: have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted
day 127: do you believe in second chances
day 128: what is your life’s purpose
day 129: favorite month of the year and why
day 130: if you were deserted on an island, what would you bring
day 131: what do you worry about
day 132: do you believe ex’s can be friends
day 133: if you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret, what would you do
day 134: do you have a reason to smile right now
day 135: is change a good thing
day 136: if you were 12 and looked at yourself in the future, would you be happy
day 137: one of your wildest dreams
day 138: one of the nicest things anyone has said to you
day 139: something you can’t wait for
day 140: how do you feel about people disrespecting their parents
day 141: someone who fascinates you
day 142: how have you changed in the past 2 years
day 143: how important you think education is
day 144: are you planning on having children one day
day 145: is it easy to trust others
day 146: is there someone that makes you happy everytime you see them
day 147: what do you think about ignorant people
day 148: do you think more about the past, present, or future
day 149: would you rather love one person or have many short relationships
day 150: how is your heart lately
day 151: would you move to a different country to be with the one you love
day 152: what is one step of action you would take to change the world
day 153: do you think the hardest thing is sometimes the easiest thing
day 154: a moment you felt most satisfied in your life
day 155: what is one achievement you are proud of
day 156: what is a tv show you enjoy the most
day 157: do you like to give or receive
day 158: would you give up all of your presents one christmas time to help others from other countries
day 159: what is one thing you love about photography
day 160: do you go by live, laugh, love
day 161: why is it so much easier being a child, than an adult
day 162: highs and lows of this month
day 163: where is one place you would love to visit
day 164: one thing many people don’t know about you
day 165: favorite type of music
day 166: have you ever had a teacher that changed your life
day 167: funniest movie you have ever seen
day 168: how do you feel about cyber bullying
day 169: what is your life motto
day 170: what is something you notice throughout high school
day 171: one famous guy you would marry in an instance
day 172: what kind of person attracts you
day 173: is there something you laugh at everytime it happens
day 174: how do you think you’re going to act like in 10 years
day 175: songs you listen to when you’re happy
day 176: do you enjoy cooking
day 177: something you’re proud of in the past few days
day 178: a goal you have this weekday
day 179: how do you feel about discrimination
day 180: what is the most inspiring book you have read181: how did you spend your last birthday?
day 182. why do you think people are so addicted to facebook/tumblr?
day 183: you are told you have one week left to live, how do you spend it?
day 184: when you think of your best friend, what is your first memory? how did you meet them, explain him/her.
day 185: where will you be in ten years?
day 186: have you ever made a time capsule? If yes, with who, do you remember what you put inside? If not, what would you put inside if you had to put something in right now?
day 187: post a picture of yourself, taken today, and five random facts about yourself.
day 188: what are you always carrying around with you?
day 189: list everything you like about yourself, and explain why. What makes you unique?
day 190: put your ipod or mp3 player on shuffle and list the first ten songs/artists. How did you find the music?
day 191: are you excited for anything right now?
day 192: summer or winter? why?
day 193: what are you doing for the next big holiday. (i.e. Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover..)
day 194: what did you do today?
day 195: have you ever had braces/will you ever need braces?
day 196: what is one thing you regret doing?
day 197: do you have a set out path for your future yet?
day 198: a picture taken over ten years ago
day 199: what is the last book you read, why did you read it?
day 200: whatever suits your fancy.( a picture, random facts, what you did today, your plans for tomorrow)
day 201: what are your plans for tomorrow.
day 202: what did you do last saturday?
day 203: what is the last thing you had to save your money for?
day 204: do you have a job, if so, where?
day 205: do you believe in love at first sight? why or why not?
day 206: what’s your favorite band?
day 207: have you ever cried in a movie? which?
day 208: tell us about your family.
day 209: what do you remember most about last winter?
day 210: in a nutshell, what is your daily routine?
day 211: a picture of you and your best friend
day 212: one person you know you can trust?
day 213: the person closest to your heart.. how do you know them?
day 214: what are your feelings on gay marriage?
day 215: a letter to your crush
day 216: list of some of your favorite tumblrs
day 217: a letter to someone who you used to be close to
day 218 : a letter to someone you judged by first impression
day 219: a talent you have
day 220:a picture that makes you smile
day 221:a photography picture taken by you. (credit it!)
day 222: what are you craving right now?
day 223: bad habits of yours.
day 224: a letter to your eight year old self.
day 225: what is the most inspirational thing you have ever heard
day 226: next present holiday wish list
day 227: a letter to the reflection in the mirror
day 228: list ten people you would die for
day 229:write a letter to the person you’re closest to
day 230: what is your favorite memory from before the school age.
day 231: what were your thoughts enter pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, and high school
day 232: how was your last year in school? which grade level was it?
day 232: list the movies you’ll never get sick of watching
day 233: what is the most quotable movie.. list a few of your favorite quotes?
day 234: favorite song as a ten year old?
day 235: if your six year old self looked at you now, what would their reaction be?
day 236: what was your most memorable summer
day 237: who from full house do you relate to most?
day 238: who/what can’t you live without?
day 239: have you changed in the past 200 days?
day 240: what does your name mean according to urban dictionary? were you named after anyone in your family, or does your name mean something special to your parents?
day 241: what name would your parents have named you if you were the opposite sex? did they have a list of names for you?
day 242: 10 most significant events in your life
day 243: what is the last thing you baked?
day 244: a picture taken recently
day 245: what is the compliment you get most, what is the compliment you give most?
day 246: who are you?
day 247: your opinion on drinking/drugs
day 248: who do you text most
day 249: if you died tomorrow.. would you want to tell anyone anything?
day 250: write a short love story
day 251: what inspires you to write?
day 252: list five things that make you happy
day 253: list five things that make you sad
day 254: list your five favorite foods
day 255: list your five favorite drinks
day 256: list five things you want to say to ten different people at this moment
day 257: list five good things about your life
day 258: list five bad things about your life
day 259: list your family members and how they help you daily
day 260: list your five favorite songs
day 261: list what you did/plan to do today
day 262: list your favorite stores
day 263: list how you did your make up today
day 264: how are you wearing your hair
day 265: post a picture of your outfit, or explain it
day 266: an old song you still like
day 267: when you’ve had a terrible day, how do you deal with it?
day 268: an overused saying?
day 269:how are you similar to and different from the majority of Tumblr users?
day 270: what would your dream house/apartment/castle/tree house/loft/bungalow/etc. look like?
day 271: who makes your happier than anyone else?
day 272: what was the worst thing to happen to you in middle school?
day 273: seven things that cross your mind a lot.
day 274: six things you love
day 275: five songs you like.
day 276: four things you wish you could say, but might never.
day 277: three things you miss
day 278: two things you want.
day 279: one story of a memory you have.
day 280: what was the last movie you watched, write about it
day 281: someone you would switch lives with for a day and why
day 282: if you were stranded on an Island, who would be with you and which limited 10 items would you two have?
day 283: describe your perfect date
day 284: write the differences between you and your best friend
day 285: what got you into this challenge?
day 286: a picture of what you wore today
day 287: a silly picture of you/ you & your friends
day 288: last post you made on Tumblr that doesn’t involve a challenge?
day 289: write a letter to your followers
day 290: a video you would usually watch on Youtube
day 291: what did you eat today?
day 292: recommend a few Tumblr’s and write why you recommended them.
day 293: when you look outside step outside your front door of the house, what do you see?
day 294: something that inspires you
day 295: things you’re looking forward to next week -month
day 296: create a collage of your pictures you take in 1 day and post them up.
day 297: when did you start wearing makeup?
day 298: do you like to dress up or dress down for school
day 299: who’s on the left of your locker who’s on the right? do you like them?
day 300: your celebrity crush
day 301: who is your favorite actor/actress and why?
day 302: post a picture of your makeup from today!
day 303: last time you were sick, what did you have?
day 304: What is your favorite kind of soup?
day 305: which grade was your favorite? why?
day 306: what are the most distinct memories from preschool age and younger?
day 307: what are the memories you have when you think of kindergarten?
day 308: what are the memories you have from first grade?
day 309: what are the memories you have from second grade?
day 340: what are the memories you have from third grade?
day 341: what are the memories you have from forth grade?
day 342: what are the memories you have from fifth grade?
day 343: the last person you texted— how do you know them?
day 344: post a picture of yourself today
day 345: write a letter to your best friend
day 346: what are your favorite type of shoes? why?
day 347: are you getting bored of this challenge?
day 348: what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately?
day 349: what’s the way to win your heart?
day 350: do you have any hard, life-changing choices to make, anytime soon?
day 351: are you addicted to facebook?
day 352: do you know anyone with an outie belly button? who?
day 353: what quote do you live by?
day 354: last time you cried, why was it?
day 355: honestly, do you know all the words to your countries national anthem?
day 356: what is your dream job?
day 357: as a kid did you want to be a ninja turtle and/or power ranger? which color?
day 358: are you as addicted to tumblr as you were a year ago?
day 359: describe what you normally do on a weekly basis. A little bit about your social life outside of the internet.
day 360: a picture of what you wore today
day 361: If you won the lottery, honestly, how would you spend the money?
day 362: what is the biggest lie you’ve ever told. why’d you tell it?
day 363: do you know what your first post on tumblr was?
day 364: have you changed much in the past year?
day 365: look back to your first post of this challenge, asking ‘Post a picture of yourself and tell us your hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days’ did you achieve any of these goals? And post a picture.

Maybe its time to give up already. Maybe one try to initiate something isn't good enough, but still, I'm really tired of feeling this way.

I'm tired of having to pretend that I don't care about you. I'm tired of pretending to be okay. I hate the me that always get affected by little things that you do & say. I'm tired of looking forward to talking to you every night.

I don't care if I'm not putting in enough effort. I don't care even if I'm giving up too early. 10 days might be too short for someone so stubborn like me. But still, I'm tired of everything already. Things get much harder when you know each other but don't know how to be closer, don't know if your feelings are genuine enough.

So boy, I'm saying goodbye already.

IP.

Is it stupid to think that you might be a little jealous that I have another life apart from you?
Is it naive to believe that I do understand you a little more than most people?
Or is it ridiculous to think that just because we spend time together everyday, then a happy ending will be the result?

Seriously, I don't know.
IP, why are you being so difficult /:
I think about you everyday, but still I have no idea how I should go about doing it.
I don't wanna do it anymore, but prof and TA will kill me if I don't hand it up.
HOW NOW?

If only it is as simple as sleeping.

One thing that I had learnt today. No matter what be grateful for what I have right now.

I think my excessive luck had ran out, but yet there are still little moments that makes me feel lucky. The first thing that should cross my mind every morning when I wake up should be what a great mum I have, and how fortunate am I to have this group of friends with me.

I expected a lot of reactions, but definitely this is not one of them. My mum understanding things without needing any explanation on my part, and friends standing by me even when I vented my frustration on them.

Maybe all these are enough already, what more should I ask for?

Be grateful for these things in my life, instead of being upset over the lack of what I want.

I really want to have my recess week soon, then maybe I can throw away the burdens once and for all, and slow down and see how beautiful my world is right now.

You know the feeling of falling when you don't feel lucky anymore?
I'm feeling it now.

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to save myself, but how do I start?

You make it easier when life gets hard.
-Lucky(Jason Mraz& Colbie Caillat)

But what happens when you are not here everytime. Then what do I do at that time? Do I then pray ferverently for your appearance or just learn to rely on myself?

It will be nice if I can take my heart out and analyze what it needs instead of guess everytime.

Its difficult to try to study, try not to be emo and try to be strong at the same time, really. If only everything is easier.

cr: tumblr

Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you
Carpeneters - Close to You

You all made me start thinking about it, so what should I do now, when I can't forget even if I want to?

Don't talk to me like we are long time friends that can talk once in a while.
Don't make me feel hopeful for a minute if it isn't going to last.
Don't make my heart feels like it doesn't belong to me anymore.
So hey, just stay or get out of my life.
At least I won't have to go through the emotional rollercoaster that makes me moody every so often.
My heart, please be strong.

Studying at home has been ineffective. Sunday was still okay since I basically spent the whole day doing my AW, and getting feedbacks then revising it. But today was a total fail. I feel like I've been doing a lot, but in reality no. I just finished up my AW and memorized my script for presentation. I had been spending alot of time emo-ing about it and talking to people instead.

So next week, I shall go to school to study again. At least, I can be sure that I will at least get 3-4hrs of study time. Today, I really don't know.

I've been really lucky lately. Getting so much love that I start doubting myself and wonder how am I ever going to repay them. And I can't help but wonder if I'll be this lucky forever. Hopefully I will, and hopefully at the end, we will still be together.

I'm so used to you being by my side, that I will not know what to do without you.

Wake me up when september ends.

Happiness is so intangible that its scary. That you'll never know when will it disappear. That sometimes, you have to start wondering if what you're doing is right or wrong.

Wake me up when September ends please.

I need a break from all the work. I take lots of breaks by relaxing and chilling out with my friends. But some part of my brain will be thinking of my work.

I need a holiday real soon.

I wonder where did my motivation go.
How did it manage to disappear within 3 weeks?
I have to be strong, 'cause that's the only thing that I can do.
If I can, I just want to run away. Forever and ever. But since I can't,
I just have to be grateful for all the support and love I got.
Tonight I got so much love that I never thought was possible.
So I'm not gonna cry anymore. I'm going to pick myself up,
And then, I'll become a stronger person who will take care of all of you instead.

school is stress.

All of a sudden, I feel so stressed. My studying plans have not been working even though Im not distracted by those online chats anymore. And even though I've completed all my allocated work it still feels as if I've tons to do. I don't know how I should study for my classes except to re-read the materials again and again and yet it still feels that I don't understand lots of stuff.

And now, I've a Java written test next week, a AS project where the teacher didn't even tell us what is it on, news that Im horrible at even the most basic Java programming, a LTB presentation that I'm not confident of and not sure if it will be counted to my total grades in 2 days time and a IS101 presentation in 2 weeks and we haven't even started on it. Idk anymore mann.

And I've school on Sat and plans to go out on Sun. I know I should just spend one whole day doing real hardcore mugging, but it seems to fail so terribly. Okay at least, I've managed to reach my quota for today just that yesterday's one is still unachieved. Mann, 3rd week of school and I'm already stressed out by all the work.

Just had to be real grateful that there are so many people by my side and that we are supporting each other through these difficult times. Really don't know what I will have done without them.

The Quiet World

The Quiet World


In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond,
I know she's used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.


Jeffrey McDaniel

I'm Yours

When you find a friend, you find a treasure.

-Cars 2

I am a rich person then, since I've gained lots of treasures (: Anyway, school has been real crazy. I thought Smu students play alot, party alot, but now then I know, the real thing that we do a lot is mug. Its only the 2nd week, but I already had a grammar test, is going to have 3/4 presentations to do and tons of hw esp for academic writing. Oh mann, I can never stop complaining about how much I hate that subject. So much damned work and sometimes, I'm just so lost in class.

Have lots of work to do, but I shall be productive tomorrow and do it then. Today shall be a totally relaxing day where I just talk about rubbish with my seniors and then sleep again. And listen to Westlife alot!

Anw, I have this little fantasy about my future. If I ever have a crush and he sings Jason Mraz "I'm Yours" to me while playing the guitar, I'll date him right away.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A&ob=av2e
I'm just obsessed with this song & "Lucky" (:

Its only the start of school and yet I've screwed up some stuff so badly.
I feel tired & sick both mentally and physically.

I need to start re-evaluating my priorities. But how could I do it when that's what my heart tell me is right?

Studying has been ineffective ):
Had been trying to at least meet a certain quota for studying but then I've been failing for every single day of the week & Im so sure I won't meet it too tmr. And I just remembered that I haven't finished a part of my AW hw! Life sucks majorly ):

Yeahh, but Im going to a new musuem tomorrow & I'll get to rest on Sat so life doesn't look so bleak right now. The lack of time and excessive amount of work is really stressing me out. I want to study all the time, but I get distracted by FB chat and stuff like that. And when I don't, I'll have the irritating miscellaneous matters to take care of. Haven't read through a single page of my Java book since Monday ):

Okayy, shall try to pick up the pace after I had my dose of fun tomorrow. To be honest, I don't know what to study for except to read the readings before hand & do the homework after that.

Anyway, this is my awesome Meta group sans Yuan Shiow. I cannot find a picture with all 13 of us /:

We Shake It!

In the end, I realized that I have not changed.
It is just that you all managed to bring out the fun side of me with 3 meetings and 3days spent together.

There are these little moments that makes me feel scared & lost,
But Im not going to look back
I'll only move forward from now on.

Even if I look like an idiot in the end,
I'll continue smiling.

My mum laughed at me when I told me I'm sacrificing my only off day today to go to school to mug. & I can understand why. Her daughter who treats slacking as the most important thing in the world is studying before classes start. But then, I really hate not getting what the teacher is teaching when everyone is good at it. It makes me doubt whether I'll be able to do well or am I just going to have a repeat of my Jc life. And I don't want to fail anymore, really.

That's the only reason thats motivating me to read up beforehand & maybe revise after classes. But after the momentum got broken on Thursday, its becoming real hard to pick it up. So hopefully, everything will turn out right.

Must mug doubly hard tomorrow to make up for the lost time today that I spent chatting online. Fb & Msn are going to be my downfall. Serious. So I'm not gonna sign in on both anymore & maybe cut down on the time I spend playing fb games?

I can do it! So I'm going to sleep soon & wake up early and lug all my stuff to school. Its at times like this that I wonder if not learning driving is a good choice. The books and laptops are so heavy that I'm depressed /: But ohwell, for the safety of everyone, me not driving is the best choice.

Oh mann, I really am not looking forward to studying ):

I love Java & Java love me.
So lets get closer & understand each other more.

School officially starting on Tuesday. Even though, I've already had a week of enrichment lessons, I couldn't help but be worried for the actual thing.

Thank god that I'm not starting tomorrow. Have to find a way to motivate myself to study tonight after the failed attempt in the afternoon.

Let this last forever. Let us be forever.

I want to throw in everything,
But what if it ends up like last time?

Meta is Love!

metamorphosis[met-uh-mawr-fuh-sis]: any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.

I used to think that calling the SIS camp Metamorphosis was lame since it just happens that the last three letters are SIS. But after going through the whole camp, I realized how apt it is. I had a 360 degree change in my personality in this camp. In FTB, I was the intorverted and quiet one, but in Meta, I can be enthu, loud and fun. Idek why I totally threw away my image like that, but it might be because I'm already more comfortable with camps after FTB and I wanted to have even more fun with them.

To think that I used to be skeptical about Meta since I'm close with my FTB camp mates. In contrary, I'm now friends with lots of nice people too! (: And, being outgoing is so fun. You get to do lots of wild stuff with your friends and participate in lots more games. And well, they've seen my ignorant side too. The drink coke with Mentos & your stomach will explode part. I seriously thought that will happen /:

The memories are still fresh but I don't want to recount every single moment. It feels weird? And we have to keep it within our circle of trust,hahahs!

Anyway, one biggest difference between FTB and Meta were the phrase we used. In FTB, our group's favorite phrase was Errr What? While in Meta, its Last Warning.

Meta!

Going for Meta tmr! (In my state of drowsiness, I nearly typed FTB) Was looking forward to it alot, but the wet shoes criteria kinda turned me off abit since I've no more wet shoes ): And I'm feeling wayy too tired now to feel any excitement at all. Still I can't wait to see all my camp mates and have an awesome time there since most people say that own faculty camps are the fun-nest.

Yeahhh, I planned on wanting to watch lots of videos before I go for camp. Like kind of a charger to last you for a few days without it. Hahahs, but I'll live even without watching everything I planned to watch. I'm wayyyyyyy too tired now. So, I'll just go and read my important dates dose of happiness and sleep!

P.s. I always think its a bad idea/sign when you blog right when the month starts since I've a feeling that you'll spam blog after that.

P.s.s Super Junior's album is out! Shall listen to it after I break camp since in my tired mode I'll be highly cynical towards it.

I'll be back on 5th! (:

Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist

Ao no Exorcist: the anime that I went to watch because of 2PM singing the closing theme song and now, I'm hooked onto it and can't wait for the new episode to be released today. Its good(till I didn't want to skip any part even though there's a pretty big section on worm monsters /:) and I'm so glad that I went to watch it.

Its an anime about demons and exorcist and the main protagonist who becomes an exorcist is the son of Satan. The storyline is pretty interesting and this might be the first time that I like the main protagonist in an anime. Normally, I tend to like the minor characters more.

But then, I really like Rin a lot. Like all the main protagonist in most of the anime I've watched, he has the bubbly character and an easy-going attitude, but somehow he feels different(in a way that I don't know how to explain). I love seeing how he grows a bit more each time he meets a new challenge and there's a line that touch me real deep.

I'm not good at lying and tricking people.

This perfectly sums up his character.

However, what's real captivating about this anime(for me) is the dynamics of his relationship with his dad. It always make me tear a bit when they do a flashback on his childhood with his dad. Shiro seems perfect for a human. How he embraced his kid fully despite his differences and how his willpower comes from his determination to protect his son. Also, the ways he encourage his son to do better by appreciating what Rin had done before teaching him the right way to do things. It just touches me a lot. It just make you think about your own parents and their sacrificies for you.

It had been so long since I've last watched an anime that manage to attract me so much after Reborn! ended since my taste is kinda weird. Despite being in similar genres some work for me while others don't. Like how I love Ao no Exorcist but I didn't manage to finish xxxHolic even though they're a tad similar.

Ahhhh~~ Let's hope that I'll manage to learn some Japanese out of it too since I ditched my textbooks. Hahhas

Anyway, as much as I love Shiro's character, I can't help but laugh everytime I hear his name. Its like Shiro in Korean means hate, dislike but then he's a character full of love. The irony when a certain word exist in two different languages and the meaning is so different

I want to re-live my high school life. Some people might want to re-live theirs as it was boring. But for me, it is in fact way too interesting with all the drama I got. However thinking back, that isn't what I wanted. Where did my study hard plan go?

Perhaps, I had been watching too much variety shows. Or maybe, I had been reading too much novels. But all of a sudden, I want to wear my uniform once again. I want to date again, and this time I want to have a cuter personality instead of being independent. Today while I'm at Tofu outing, my friends were saying that no matter how independent you are, in front of your boyfriend, you will become someone who is dependent over little things and letting them decide the minor details in your life for you.

I think I'm independent. So independent till I can seem a bit like a loner. But somehow, I don't know how to fully unleash the super excitable and bubbly side of myself show when I'm with a large group of friends. Its like I'm always trying to uphold a certain image. I'm sure some people and the closer friends view me as the hyper-active girl. On the other hand, there are times when I get shocked by how awkward and quiet I am even when I'm with a bunch of people I've known for so long.

My secondary school friends never ever believe me when I told them I've been labelled as a cold and introverted person since I'm such a loud and full of energy girl that can't be still for a moment when we're classmates. But, I think I'm getting warmer already even to the new friends. Even though, people will still say that they find me too quiet when they first see me, but then, hey, I've been told that I'm warm at heart though I might not show it blatantly.

I'm sure that maybe 3 months down the road, I'll look back at this post and wonder why did I try to analyze myself and stuff. I might be embarrassed by what I wrote since according to the first season of Sesame Player, this is somewhat a narcissist post. Nonetheless, the sentence formed themselves in my mind and I can't help but to type them. So, back to the original topic of wanting to go back to high school.

Cinderella Sister

As I was watching Infinity Girls, I realized one of the most ironice thing about the drama Cinderella Sister. Kihoon and Eunjo are supposed to be the main couple of the show right? But why does the scene where Jeongwoo carry Eunjo and runs for her gets parodied the most? Hahas, but I love that scene, and that boy who speaks good Saturi (:

So, I've really got to find someday and finish the show.

Seo Eun Jo is Han Jeong Woo's forever lover.

Infinite

There always seem to be a common point in the lyrics of Infinite's comeback track. The lyrics are always full of strong emotions.

Like in Come Back Again, it has the strong feeling of wanting to get their girlfriend back and not giving up the relationship easily. In Before the Dawn, there's a strong sense of obsession over the girl, even though the lyrics ironically state that he isn't obsessed. But by how much he wants that girl and how he wants to try to capture her, I think its some serious form of obsession. Then in Be Mine, the trend continues. There's an image of a strong man who will protect the girl he loves no matter what.

But at the same time that they are similar with their strong and perservering image, I liked the Be Mine image the most. I find it real sweet that someone is telling you in to be theirs in an attempt to protect you. But then, its only sweet in dramas or songs, in reality, I've a feeling that it'll end up tragically if you don't harbor the same feelings for him even after a long time. However, I found the lyrics for Before the Dawn sexiest. I couldn't resist lyrics that convey such strong emotions. Just like how I loved the last line of Mir's rap for Y. Yeahh, but this kind of strong obsession is only sexy in lyrics, hahhas. So my point is, Infinite's lyrics are real cool!


Anw, this is one of the Infinite songs I love the most. It is kind of similar to how 2PM's Only You is to me. When I first heard the song, I thought it will be a sweet song but then the lyrics are so bitter-sweet. I find it super touching that its a song about telling the girl he love to leave him because he knows she isn't happy with him. How cool is that? I think I know of people who are able to do that too. But the way this song is, makes it seem so cool. Its like they're letting her go without letting her feel guilty by sending he away first instead of waiting for her to initiate the break up. Cool man! I always liked this kind of cool people when I'm reading novels. Yeahhhh........

I don't really know whats the main point of this post again. It always ends up this way when I spazz over some bands.

Btw, I got my SMU matriculation card. Which means I can get in the school without having to go in by the visitor's entrance. And the coolest thing is I can go into all the schools with my card. I did worry about only being able to go into the SIS building. And they gave a thermometer as a gift for Idk what.

Am going back to school again tmr ): I really hate going back to school so much even before term starts. Where's the summer break ehhh? Even though I had a super long hol, but then that doesn't mean I like travelling so much even before school starts. ): Yeah yeah, that's all I guess

Spazz

I seem to be losing my mind a lot nowadays. I mentioned it around 5 times for the whole day when I was chatting with umma over twitter? Hahhas, my judgement somehow got impaired at times or at other times, my mind and hands are not in sync.

Anyway, I think I'm besotted with Infinite nowadays. I'm in such a big trouble. I seriously thought that I will not like anymore groups after 2PM, but now all of a sudden I start watching Infinite on variety show and its not turning out well at all. What has happen to my motto of listening to the songs they produce and enjoying it without being a fan/Inspirit? Ahh, my plan is going to fail real soon, or has somehow failed already. AIGU... Seriously I was like, Okay Infinite and the old bands that are making their comebacks are going to be my entertainment source when SUPM+Mblaq goes to the army, but I didn't want to get obsessed. I only wanted to listen well to their songs(mostly their title tracks and those that are promoted). But I've been staying up late to finish their variety shows and to read about them. Ahhhh..... Anw, I don't rmb what I want to say anymore since I got distracted by 2PM stuff.

So, in conclusion, I've been getting massive and severe eye bags and dark eye circles nowadays since I'm watching videos at a crazy speed. I can understand when I get it because of Mblaq, since Seungho is probably the head of the dark eye circles with his hyper serious ones. But seriously, I need to sleep earlier and stop getting obsessed with Infinite.

And school is starting soon, like in around 2 weeks time? And I'm running out of cash since I've been going to school alot. And by going to school means I have to spend money on travelling and eating out with school mates or whatsoever. Yeahhh, need to save up soon.

Anw, my motive of this post was to spazz about Infinite and then post the photos umma requested for me. But then Im too tired now, so this is it!

When Wooguay meets Harry Potter!

Its like 2AM and I'm still awake. Not the wide awake kind, but the tired and yet still not sleeping kind.

Anyway, went for International Student Orientation Briefing yesterday morning and met up with my camp group the WooGuay's at night! I think I had become boisterous as compared to the camp. I laughed a lot(and loudly when I'm asked to do my pout since its so funny) and talked a lot more too! Being absolutely hyper and it was fun! Yeah, and we ran to rush for our HP movie and still managed to be late for it and took photos along the street randomly.

The Harry Potter movie Part 2 was awesome seriously. It was better than Part 1. I'm so glad that the Snape scene was done superbly unlike the Dobby scene that totally disappointed me in the first part. I had to say that for someone who's familiar with the books, there's quite a lot of differences between the sequence of what happened. But I suppose its expected since they can possibly portray every single detail as it would have taken too long to finish the movie. But overall, I'm pleased with it. The flow was kinda weird at times, but then, at the end everything makes sense.

And putting my Draco bias aside, I really loved the scene where Narcissa held Draco hand and led him away from the war scene. I found it as strong a display of motherly love as when Molly battled Bellatrix for Ginny. I kind of would have like to see them huddled up and looking lost in the Great Hall just like how the book depicted it, but this works too in a another way. However, there was something that disturbed me a bit. I couldn't understand how the students moved so freely during war time, and how first years were around. For this, I like the book more where they give everyone a chance to run if they want to. Instead the movie just locked the Slytherins in the dungeons. I kinda got offended by this move. What about the younger ones that doesn't share the same prejudice?

Okay, my favorite had to be the Snape scene. If I wasn't with the Wooguay's I think I'll start crying. It was really touching and when you're watching it, you'll add in parts that you remembered from the biij and it really hits you deep. Yeah, even though I was trying real hard to hold it in, but I started tearing when Harry met the ghosts of his parental figure. And Kah Yen realized. Ahh, embarassing /: On the other hand, there's others in the theatre tearing too, so I guess its okay! (: And when you watch the movie, I can somehow start to relate why are there Dumbledore haters out there. There's way too much responsibility he puts on others(despite him sacrificing lots himself too) and the things he expects others to do is somewhat selfish even if its for the greater good. However, Harry still respects him and so do I(though I have the little why did he do this moments).

Lastly, I liked the Gringotts and Fiendyfire scene too. Btw, I was confused as to why Harry addressed Draco as Draco when he had been calling him Malfoy all along, but I guess its to distinguish between the older and the younger one.

My conclusion is, this outing was fun! There are some people that I want to talk more to, but I'll try to solve that problem next time.. I just got lost in my own excitement D: We took tons of photos and Rosanne they all even imitated my pout, but for my image, I'm not gonna post them here! (:

Okay, so that's all. Goodnight!

FTB camp.

I somehow love blogging when its way past my sleeping time, so I shall rant about my FTB camp. It was good, not in the awesomely perfect kind of good, but in the, I really love this experience kind of good. And, it helped me get over my camp-phobia. I'm still not the biggest fan of camps, but I surely won't cringe and whine as badly as I had when I realized FTB was compulsory.

The few days there was really fun and relaxed and yet demanding. Unlike other camps where your facis control lots of what you're doing most of the time, we've got lots of freedom in this camp. Like what time we have to go to sleep, what time we're waking up at as long as you're in time for breakfast and even you could sleep outside your tent if you want to. Yeah, so for both morning, me and my tentmates woke up super early to shower before trudging down to the tentage. I seriously couldn't fanthom how did we wake up before 530 on the first day and showered in the cold water when we slept close to 3, but I guess the heat was a major factor.

And throughout the camp, something Mitch Albom wrote kept on passing through my mind.

Strangers are family you have yet to come to know.

Well, I wouldn't say we are so close that I can call them family, but there's certainly trust among all of us(i think) with all the games we had to do on the first day. Yep, so the moral of the story is have faith in strangers! I think my camp mate LOL-ed when he heard me say that. And I seriously hope that we wouldn't become Hi-Bye friends like some of the seniors.

One thing I love most about this camp is the amount of showers I get. Aren't I relieved when I realized my tent-mates love showering in the morning and will wake me up dutifully everyday to ensure all of us get to shower. Hahahs, even though I ignored her for abit on the 2nd day when she tried to wake me up since I'm so tired, but honestly I'm so thankful to her. And I told her I'll tell her about the things I didn't manage to write in the book but I haven't up till now/: (Btw, I think I shocked someone when I told her that I'll tell her about what I didn't manage to write down) i shall, when we meet up next time! Anyway, the flooding in the toilet is kinda irritating since you've got to wash your legs again in the open showers but its better than nothing! (:



This is one of the photo I loved most that we took! (: Hahahs, it started with 2 of the guys pretending to ride a broom, then we girls joined in and in the end, it turned out to the a group picture :D

And yeahh, I really like the Rafting experience even though me and Rosanne hit my head so many times when I was passing the paddle to her. Seriously, it was damn heavy and having to hold to your group flag and passing stuff at the same time ain't that easy. Speaking of hitting heads, I still feel apologetic to Matthew for hitting his head with our group flag so many times just because I'm trying to use it to avoid the sun. Yeah, I've been told by some of my groupmates that I only want it for the weirdest reason. Example: shielding myself from the wind, avoid the sun.


This is our group flag. Yeah, we are the Wooguay! Idk why but our group has an affinity with animals. We wanted to call ourselves peacock at first, hahas. Btw, we have a real cute team cheer in the end. It involves breaking out into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song(we did consider doing a remake of Powerpuff Girls) and adding the five elements(Earth, Wind, Water, Fire & Heart) from Professor Idk what. Apparently its a super old cartoon that all the guys watched before.

In conclusion, I had great camp mates and facis. The guys were always brushing away the worms/insects with a thing or another when I start freaking out(meaning squating and moving away) & our super nice faci Vanessa will always ask me to sit next to her even though I didn't accept the offer for quite a few times on the last day. Idek why.Just wanted to stay where I was. But in the end, Huige and Rosanne moved over with me and it all turned out fine! (: Kekekeke.

Anyway, if there's anyone going for FTB reading this, make sure you go for it. Its a real good experience even though it had been dubbed as the most gruelling camp of SMU. I guess it made sense since we had to run 2KM on the last day(I really don't appreciate it), but then the run somehow made the bond even stronger since you have to hold hands and run. I'm real thankful to the people who held my hand and pulled me along when I was getting tired and putting way too much weight on their hands. And how they think of innovative ways to link all of us together since the girls hands will somehow slip apart.

Lastly, I'm going for a dragon boating charity event with them. And I think I lost my mind when I signed up that day. I mean partying at Zouk is fine, but dragon boating? I don't fancy getting myself wet at all, but oh well, it'll be a good experiece if I didn't faint from rowing 3.5KM. Ahh, the crazy things you do after you have way too much fun and bonded way too much with your group mates.

P.s. I suddenly remember tunneling. All I can say is that I don't have a good temper when safety locks refuse to open when I think I've the correct answer.

I've been blogging excessively these few days. Maybe to make up for the lack of it in June? Idk, hahas.

I finished watching the Real 2PM vid and Idk why but I like to treat it as the Give it to me BTS('cause of the Singapore Flyer part). JYPE should really compile all the footage they still have on hand and release more MVs for Hottests. Would be best if there's one for all the songs! (:

Anw, I had been wondering when will my boys be finally repeating clothes since I realised Chansung had different costumes for the 6 music programmes schedules he had in the past 2 weeks. And today(if i want to be nit-picky I will say it is the July 2nd broadcast, but then they wore a new outfit that day too), they finally repeated. I'm not counting the recording date, it will be far too confusing(I think it already sounds confusing). Hahas, my obsessiveness with their clothes is totally showing now, but I really like their wardrobe this time.

And I just received news that my Hands Up album had been shipped, but I might not get to receive it myself since it might be sent while I'm in camp /: But its good to have them to look forward to when I come home+my comfy bed&the nice toilet. Also, I want to be nicer to my mum after I come back since I've been way too emotional about stuff to be nice these few days. And the camp thing kinda stress me out that I get irritated too easily.

Btw, I love the rap for Give it to me, the lyrics just get stuck in my mind. Even though, Ok Taec's part sound abit cryptic to me. Kekeke

Even if your blood type is A like mine, even if your eyes disappear when you laugh like mine,
Even if your birthday is Aquarius like mine, beyond that we really have a lot of similarities
If you say you can’t love me I won’t look at you, if you say you’re like me just come to me
Give me a feeling I’ve never felt before, generously give me the love you wanted
Be by my side when you wake up in the morning, give me a kiss above my almost half open eyes
Even if you don’t call or text I’ll just understand, I won’t wait forever
Just appear in my dreams every night, gently unravel me with your melting smile
I have a lot to give you, It’s all about you and me ok?

Yeahh, so I've to wake up in approximately 5 hours if I go to sleep now, but I've a strong feeling that I wouldn't sleep until 2. So I shall go read now (: And continue blogging excessively about 2PM and camp stuff when I come back! (:

Ja~ lastly lets share a photo of Chansung! When he was young and innocent looking.

I'll be back! Kekekke

I've finally finished packing for camp. And I've deleted the previous post I made. I felt childish after I thought about it when I woke up from my nap. I still felt abit indignant about the whole situation, but in a fight, it is impossible to push the blame to either side, so I do think I've to stop getting riled up so easily and admit that I do play a part in it even though I'm not the one who started it.

And I've learnt that in order to have a happy mentality, you need to think of things from other people's perspective and think about the circumstances instead of letting your emotions take over your mind the minute you get agitated. Only when you start thinking in the other people's shoes will you be able to understand why everything happens and then you will not be so upset about it and then you will have a happy life. Ahhh, I feel so much better now for thinking this way. But yeah, I still want people to try to understand why I'm acting in this way and think if yall will react the same way when it happen to you instead of just concluding everything by saying I've a bad attitude. Ahh, I'm at peace with stuff now and I hope it'll continue (: So thankful that I like such a sensible person who will teach me things like this~ (:

Anw, if anyone had watched the Saipan special of Dream Team, you all will know that they are 3 things that Ricky Kim hates the most. And I have them too esp regarding camp ): I'm so camp-phobic.

The 3 things I hate about camp:
1. The shower that might not be clean.
2. The toilet that might be weird.
3. The fact that I don't get to bathe in the morning and have to do sticky stuff.

And well, I have 1 extra one for this camp unlike the others. The fact that they want me to go into the water with my shoes and preferably like me to chuck it away later. Like why? Ahhhh~~~

Yeahh, I'm going to watch the BTS of Give it to me now and I'll rant about it later again. And why is my Hands Up album not coming yet and the supplier is not replying to my email /: I'm so gonna go to the office and demand and explanation if it is still not here after I come back from camp! It has been 2 weeks already ):

So, I'll go watch it now. Also, I'll treat the FTB as a MT experience. Hahahs, I has a feeling that it will be similar since I've heard that both are pretty harsh. Just that I think during MT people stay in nice resorts instead of camp? Okay, I'm not sure about this since I only saw it on TV. But still, its a MT like thing for me(I get abit more comfort for thinking in this way since so many of my boys find MT fun(?)) Hahahs, okay, call me a MT-girl after I come back (:

Chansung's part in Like a Movie

Am going to camp tomorrow ): and I'm not a big fan of them. But anw, I'll rant about that and how my Hands Up album is still not here in the afternoon.

Here's sth that I agree with and cracked me up alot these 2 days.
chan sung not ever going to sing his part like a movie song
You know how we can see our traffic sources and see what's some related searches that link people to our blog? Well this was one of them. And honestly, I'm so in agreement with it. I wanna see Chansung sing his part but he didn't get to do it on their cb stages. Anw, if that person who searched for this somehow gets linked back, thank you for searching this. Its honestly cute and funny(in a good way!) (:

Yeahhh, I also need to see the BTS for Give it to me, but Daum/Nate(I couldn't remember which) never cooperate with me whenvever I want to watch a video. Wae?

Why do I feel like I've so much to accomplish before going to camp? I guess it's because I've to leave my computer for 3 days and I don't wanna regret not watching anything and then whine about how badly I want to watch them. I still think I'll do so though. After all, I'm missing MCD and maybe a bit of MuBank. Gotta go watch my shows again!

P.s. And I do like doing everything properly before leaving home for an elongated period of time (:

I need to spazz! Hahas (:
I was super excited when Wooyoung mentioned All In in Real 2PM since its my first favorite Korean show. And my first favorite Korean artist acted in it. Actly, I fell in love with Lee Byeongheon after watching that show. I still remember hating Ji Seong's(I honestly thought it was Won Bin) character since he's hiding the truth from Song Hyegyo making her unable to meet Lee Byeonghun. But like Wooyoung, I couldn't remember the name of Lee Byeongheon's character at all since I watched it 9-10 years ago. Maybe I should go and rewatch it! Anw, I went to research and realized his character's name was In-ha. Hahahas.

Btw, I seriously think that I need to go and watch lots of Lee Byeongheon shows. I call myself a fan of his, but I didn't watch lots of the shows he starred in /: I just watch it when the opportunity comes to me instead of researching for it online. So lets start from today.

So, after my last week plus today's dance lesson, I think I'm able to feel 1/20 of what my boys feel when they're practicing. Dancing non-stop for an hour is really tiring and when you're without energy, you'll really do the moves in a more sloppy way. To add on, the teacher getting upset because you can't get the moves that were taught today right is disappointing especially since its my last lesson. But then I'll just get flustered when I hear the music and then forget the new, unpractised steps. You'll feel discouraged and really tired. I think I can understand how much hardwork they've to put in now, since they're to practice god knows how many hours a day without stopping for a rest. And think about the acrobatics. Woah.

AIGU. I feel like I'm just ranting. Anw, my air-con is spoilt so I've to live without it till next week. Oh well, save energy, save the earth! Hahahs.

Yeah, this post tottaly has no meaning to it at all except abundance of fangirlism and whining about dance failures.

Anw, it is nice to watch 3 Real 2PM vid at one go. So satisfying (: I shall share the story of a nice uncle and aunty that helped me today tmr! (:

If you wish to live, you will die. If you wish to die, you will live.
-Lee SunShin

2PM comeback

I've changed my layout to something so glaringly bright, but I guess its okay since I love the color blue a lot. And I really don't want to see my face on my header anymore. Hahs.

Anyway, I've just realized that I've quite a bit of view for the post 21 days of Kpop, so let's share the SUPM love! My blog view has miraculously picked up after the 20th. And as an avid fan of 2PM, I'm going to treat this as a sign that they'll do superbly well on charts and win tons of awards.

The thought and promises of blogging about 2PM's latest comeback had been passing through my mind so many times, been made so many times while I'm blogging, so I'm gonna do it today. To make myself feel good even though its nearly 3AM and I'm having a minor headache.

Out of all their comeback stages, I loved Inkigayo's the best. The atmosphere was real good and it was the best overall. Actually I would have loved Music Core's one the best since they made the whole stage seem like a mini concert for the Hottests, but the effects was real irritating and I couldn't really see how my boys are performing. The fancams showcased the whole performance in a much clearer view, which is kind of disappointing since the whole atmosphere and set-up was real good. Furthermore, Chansung is wearing my current favorite color, CORAL! Yeah, I was disappointed with all the weird effect Mu Core was trying on them. ): But tbh, I really liked the mini-concert stage. It fits in with the song perfectly. And I did wonder if they used a helicopter to take some of the shots

But moving back to Inki's performance, I thought how the boys interacted with each other at the start was good(just like in the case for Mu Core). What really set them apart from the rest was how they managed to create a mini concert feeling while capturing the performances perfectly. What Chansung was wearing was absolutely well-loved by me too. In fact, it had raised to the position of the most loved costume for this comeback.

I don't really have anything to say for Music Bank's stage since I can't really remember the tiny details of what happened. I was brooding badly and worrying about everything the first time round, and I only managed to capture emotions and feelings from the songs(like how good Junsu's expression is...). And even after I rewatched, everything is still jumbled up and incoherent(even in my brain). Well on the bright side, something good did happen that night (:

So, here's a clip of my fave stage!



oh! But I havta say I love Mu Core's Like a Movie stage the most, since they managed to include Chansung even though he didn't sing. And the spotlight on the various members was stunning. Though I'm jealous of the girl Chansung hugged >.< But its such a pretty stage.

I'm just going to have to rewatch everything again soon since its so fun and cute(:

Also, Like a Movie is moving up to be my favorite song of 2PM for this album. I used to like Give it to Me and HOT most, but now I can't stop playing Like a Movie. Its such a drastic change since I didn't like the song till I heard the chorus. However, its a real good song, and good job to Chance for doing it. I could tottaly imagine it being a Oneway song instead. Some parts esp the rap reminds me a bit of Rainy Days and I can't help but think how much better it will be if the whole rap is in english instead of half eng half kor. It sounds kinda cheesy like Eli's rap in 0330. But oh well, I still love both songs.

I've honestly wanted to retain the black bg of my skin since its PM's official fan color or change it to red since it fits in with Hands Up concept so much, but well, blue is cool too, I guess. And the skin is called ethereal which is secretly what I label Khun as most of the time, so its fitting!

I feel like sharing how I feel about all the songs so badly, but this post will be ridiculously long like some in the past again. So I guess I'll do them next time!

Btw, I'm having a real serious problem nowadays. Korean shows and music had been my main source of entertainment for so many days/weeks that I couldn't remember some words in English at all. Like I'll be thinking in English and then suddenly a Korean word will pop up in the middle of the sentence and I couldn't remember the English term for it. I'm so screwed for my English proficiency test. I couldn't even spell some bombastic words without checking with my phone's dictionary /:

Ahh, no matter what, I'm still gonna watch Wild Bunny again tomorrow!

I just have to add in this line even though it doesn't fit in at all.

Even if I’m dying I’ll never let my enemies know.
-2PM Don't Stop Can't Stop

There's another line that I love a lot, but I'll share it another time. I love the strong spirit of the song, ALOT.

I have so many things that I could share, and yet I couldn't formulate a sentence to sum up my current life.

I just hope that after PM successfully make their comeback today, I can finally get back into the mood of blogging as excessively as I used too.


Anyway, I don't feel like going for the SMU freshman camp /: Feeling way too lazy to socialize with strangers....

You know something is wrong when you start saving your old posts as drafts.

There are two kinds of happiness in the world. One is a happiness that you realize after the fact. The other is a happiness you feel in the moment.
-Jin Guk(Taecyeon, Dream High)

Writing.

When the holidays first started, I started my 'career' as a writer. At that time, it was plainly because I had nothing better to do and I wanted to find an outlet for my emotions, so I started writing.

I started off with the easiest topic of the numerous that were flowing in my mind, my boys. I poured out all the emotions I was feeling, and how I viewed them into thousands of font 12 words, feeling extraordinarily happy when I get recognition for it. Some of it seemed so childish, or far above my current level(which made me shocked when I re-read them that day), but somehow they're precious to me.

Yesterday while I was watching 2PM's comeback photos, I suddenly remembered my 創作 in the last 2 years. The short story that I wrote about EunHyuk and the 2PM related poem. I tried to find its file but somehow, it disappeared into thin air. But nevertheless, no matter how badly written it is, I felt proud of it. Maybe someday, I'll even find the chinese compo that I tried to write about Jay which none of my teachers or friends who don't know Jay, understand.

And so, I started writing again. In the same format as my EunHyuk's piece except that the language is different. But the laughter that will threaten to spill from my face due to what stupid confessions I make will never be gone.

Anw, this is one of the songs that never fail to make me smile everytime I hear it these days.

Not only is the tune cute, but the lyrics are adorb max! Hahas, maybe this can be my penguin song in the future (:

I shall rant about my PM boys when their mv teaser is released tomorrow ((:

And so sometimes, no matter how much you will it to happen, it is just so impossible.

Tuesdays with Morrie

When I started reading Tuesdays with Morrie, I didn't expect to be touched, much less feel so strongly for a book. I was worried about not having enough interest in it to continue reading. But this book is so captivating that, I didn't want the end to come at all.

When I bought books these days, I was concerned about the costs, and about saving money, that I'll easily compromise the quality of the book for a lower price. I had forgotten the joy of losing yourself in a book and learning a life lesson from it without a care for any other things. However, after finishing this book, I realized that maybe money isn't so important at all. No amount of it will be able to pay for the life lessons that you are able to learn from reading another person's experience in life and learning through it.

Somehow, I'm really glad that I've read this even though the idea of wetting my pillowcases this late into the night is not appealing at all. There are moments throughout the book that reminds me of my CLL teacher. The wise and old teacher that taught me so many lessons in life that I didn't appreciate until I graduated or before I read this book. Something I remember most vividly about this book is the fact that the teacher taught his students the art of paying full attention, which was what my teacher taught me too in my first consultation with her. She felt that I was too distracted with everything and is not paying attention to whatever she was saying at all, and then she taught me how difficult and yet essential it is to pay attention. At first, I did it out of fear that she'll realize my heart is not with her and the books, but, hopefully next time when I go back and find her for a chat, it'll be an instinct to me. An evidence to show her that I have indeed taken a leaf of her book and is listening to what she taught me well.

These days, I seem to be very in touch with the topic of death, be it in the novels I read or the drama I watched. I will like to believe that it is fate that I happen to chance upon all these at the same time. It is only when you see death in its most tangible form, even if its in a drama, that you realize the importance of how you choose to live you life and leave behind no regrets. I know it sounds highly ironic for someone who doesn't believe in destiny to believe in fate, but that's the way life is. Full of irony. I do think that all these are trying to teach me something that is so basic and yet have been neglected all along. Cherish what you have now, follow your heart and live your life without regrets. Only in this way, you'll be able to live a fulfilling life. And most importantly, keep your loved ones closed.

I think that they're reminders/teachings for me since I'm going to start college life soon. I've no idea how they're going to alter my life or change the decisions that I'm going to make in the future, but I only know that one day when I'm going to make a major career decision, or sth like that, I'm going to need it. Hahah, maybe I'll not go for a stable job in some big corporate and do something I want to do instead. And when I'm old and wrinkled and about to die, I'll look back and tell myself 'Good Job!'.
There's a line from Ahjussi that's etched on my mind these days.
'Others live for the future, I live for the moment.'

For me, death is still a very morbid topic that I'm afraid of. I don't hink I'll be rid of my fear anytime soon, but I'm real glad that I read/watched all these stuff. Maybe only when you remember that death is inevitable and unpredictable, that you start learning about how you should live everyday of your life.

Rants; time-wastage

Being awake in the middle of the night with a thunderstorm brewing can make you poetic or depressed. It just so happens that the latter suits me better as I look back on the past few months and realized I had done nothing productive.

There's the reality of having a restriction on what I'm being able to do, but, honestly, I'm pretty disappointed with the lack of books I've read. I could pretty much find reasons to legitimize the fact that I didn't take up lessons when April started. But the fact that I chose to squander my time away upsets me vastly.

I could easily argue that I'm not spending anymore time than before on 2PM's videos and in fact I had cut down on it a lot. But the other variety shows that I don't normally watch start accumulating until I'm spending half my day in front of the tv and another half online doing nothing much. I've been reading A LOT and I could easily boast about the hundreds of fanfiction/online novels I've read during this period of time and how I'm able to finish a nastily long one in a day. But it's not the same anymore. I used to be able to somewhat do that too while I was studying and using it as a study break.

I don't seem to be able to tell anyone about any tangible novels/classics I've read. I still don't understand a single thing from Pride&Prejudice, Great Expectations is still on the list of books I'm never going to finish and Jude the Obscure is going to join that list soon if I don't get past the 9th chapter within this mth. Somehow, I dread wasting all these time and whine about them, but when the time comes, instead of reading 'real' books, I'll rather read online stuff(where some are breathtakingly amazing, and I don't think them as a lesser thing as compared to classice). Its just a vicious cycle that I'm never going to get out of until I get a grip on myself even though online novels are addictive. Also, I've found never seen videos of my boys and I love watching them goofing around a lot which means my books are not going to be touched any day soon.

However, I really need a change. In some ways, I think that my vocabulary had been growing at an acceptable rate but my ability to converse decently had been going downhill at an exceedingly alarming rate. I mean, I stammered when I went back to visit my chinese teacher, and I had problems trying to express gratitude towards my lit teacher. And I'll like to blame it on the Korean shows I'm watching since I'm mainly living on them nowadays. And the fact that despite my Korean improving it doesn't fill up for the gap that've been created with my English and Chinese. And now, I've decided to flip through my Japanese notes again as my boys had all decided to be conquering the Jap industry at the same time which makes me desperate to pick up the language again in a feeble attempt to understand them.

I've a feeling that they only thing that I'm able to boast about at the end of this month is my contemporary dance lessons and me finishing the book 'The Good Earth'. It was easily my favorite Lit text during my secondary years despite me not being able to explain the reasons. Till now, when I'm re-reading it, I can't help but be captivated with the story-line and the cruel truth that's so blatantly portrayed in the book.

Thank you to anyone who had been able to make it this far into this post. I felt that it was unnecessary to rant on for this long but it somehow tumbled out of my brain with a will of its own.

And seeing how a storm had been going on for more than an hour before the rain fell reminds me of a line a certain Reborn fan had once mentioned. 'There could be a storm without the rain, but there wouldn't be a rain without a storm.'

So, my aim for June will be more reading of non-online stuff, and less watching of Korean shows. So that while my vocab grows, my language abilities won't drop too. Lastly, its alarming how time manages to pass so fast that 6 months of my holidays are gone and school is starting in August. Can't say I'm not looking forward to school, but I had hoped that I had made full use of my time.


P.S. I suddenly remembered all the desert experiments in Dec when I was bent on learning baking and was extremely addicted to Baking King Kim Tak Gu.

so near yet so far.

Its the weekend, sunday and the day of Rain's concert. And its till now that my puny brain registered the fact that my 2PM boys are currently in SG!

Gosh, I feel like an imbecile now. I thought that I've caught up with all the korean news I had to know after spending time to catch up, but I've missed the most impt part! ): PM will be in sg filming for their MV! News was released on Wed and I only knew of it now.

That means they will be somewhere you can see them if you're lucky instead of pining for them in front of the com.

And I'm too lazy and feeling too sick to get my lazy ass out of the house ):

And my plan of seducing Chan Sung to marry me with an endless supply of bananas are gonna fail. Maybe next time I should earn lots of money and buy a banana plantation in Korea and become a farmer, the invite him to the farm. Yes, that sounds like a good plan! Heheheh.

A-i-gu. Why is my life like this? With my fave boy so near yet so far from me.

Arrivederci.

Everytime i visit my previous blog, it'll somehow feel bitter-sweet. A smile will be plastered on my face when I read through those posts that make no sense and are overly enthusiastic, and yet, it falters a little when I realize that most of the post nearing the end of last year are far too emotional for my liking. Beneath the rants of my fangirl-ism, it will end with the confusion that I was feeling during that period of time, the over-whelming sense of idk what. I promised myself that I will throw everything away, all the bad memories/emotions will be stored in the trash can when I move on to a new place, but I couldn't stop myself as I type out this post. So let it be a tribute to my old blog that had been with me faithfully since 2006.

It took me a lot of courage and struggles before I manage to detach myself away from it. The thought of changing a blog crossed my mind multiple times, and each time, I'll fail, as I believe that blogging in the same place will be the best way to collect all your memories during your adolescent year.

Its heartbreaking in a way, that I've moved away because of people I don't like and that don't like me. I've wanted to move at first because I wanted to try out another site. But in the end, it had to turn out this way. I really don't like the fact that the last few days of my blog is so gloomy. Despite it ending on having a postive outlook for the future, in general, I detest how it seem that I'm running away to make a new start. Running away from the minority that read my blog cause I just don't want them involved in my life anymore. Yes, in my own way of rejection, as a childish revenge, I made sure those who are/might be reading about my life from my blog won't be able to do so anymore.

It turned out pretty well considering how I had 40 plus posts here within 3 mths. Its just a sign that I'm feeling at home here. But then, the nostalgia is not going to vanish just because I willed it to. I'll still miss it at random times during the night and go back and read my past posts and laugh at myself.

Up till now, it is still regretful that I've abandoned it for people whom I shouldn't cared about at all(at least not anymore). But then, I refuse to see it as an act of cowardice, no matter how many times this word flashes through my mind when I think about it. I want to see it as an act of growing up. It might seem that I'm trying to honey-coat my gestures and in reality it might be the case, but there's always two sides to an issue, and I'm going to see it as a positive move.

Just like, how an umbilical cord needs to be cut before the baby can grow up in a new environment, cutting myself away provides me a new place to grow up.

I haven't ranted enough and in my consciousness, I yearn to delve into a never-ending complain about stuff/people. But I think its enough to stop here. Any further I go will be a sign of weakness, a sign of not being able to put the past behind me.

Some people might wonder why I'm so caught up with this issue even after months of healing. I guess its just something that you don't get over so easily. Instead the memories just fade away as days goes by as it no longer is an important aspect in your life, till you forget about it altogether.

I loved to give my post an italian title last time, and I'll do it too this time round! I only hope this goodbye will last long enough till I no longer feel any discomfort within my heart when this is going to be brought up again.

you have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. love what you got, and remember what you had. always forgive, but never forget. learn from your mistakes, but never regret. people change, things go wrong, but remember - life goes on.

I'll always see this quote when I watch videos from an user called 2PMLove on yt. And due to genre of videos she's posting, this saying fits in with the videos a lot and always make me break a little on the inside. Yes, but remember - life goes on. The minute my rants finish, I've got to find something else to do before turning in tonight at a hideously unacceptable timing.

In fact, I think this will be a good place to stop. I've poured out my bottled-up emotions that I've neglected until now and its enough.

Instead of looking at the past and whining about it, looking forward is a much better choice. The you of today is shaped by what you've done in the past, but what's most important is the decision you make today. After all, today can't exist without yesterday and there'll be no tomorrow without today. If I can't get past the old memories, I wouldn't have a present, much less a future. So let's stop.

I really hope that this will be last time I'll need a blog post as a remnant of the emotions that I've felt last year. I've been ready since the past 5 months for a new start, and I managed it, so my heart, listen to me and let's not look back anymore. Keeping what I have now, and cherishing them while embracing the new future is a much better idea.