thank you.

somehow, i'm kind of thankful for the failed friendships i've had in the past 2 years, esp the last one. they've really made me grow into a better person who is more willing to share. maybe like what they said, i don't understand the need of mutuality in a relationship. however, i do think i know that it is necessary, but, i refuse to express it openly. instead, i prefer keeping all my thoughts to myself.

this might be due to the past friendships i had, where we don't always need to keep in touch, show our care and concern outrightly, but we will just be there for each other whenever someone needs it. maybe its because i have the pre-conception that every friend around me will be similar which is why it didn't work out well.

but somehow, i think i've learnt how to share now. i was always told that i don't know how to share. i'm hard to get close to. i don't open up to others. maybe, the perfect description is a cold city girl? however, i think i'm starting to change. now, i'll tell my friends about my happiness or worries. there are times when i'm worried that i might be troubling them, that they will find me irritating when they already have enough troubles on their plates.

on the other hand, relationship is all about sharing isn't it? when you put your burden on another person, they'll put theirs back on to you. and in that way, the two of you become closer and feel a lot better knowing that you've someone you can share your secrets with.

i always liked keeping my feelings toward JAE private, as a secret. i desperately want it to be something that only me and myself know. it is till now that i realize, rather than keeping it to yourself, sharing it with your friends and letting them get excited together with you is the best feeling. just like how i felt when one of my good friend told me she's attached.

you might feel a bit lonely at the thought of having to be alone. but at the same time, you'll be so happy over them finding their happiness that the momentarily sense of loss really doesn't matter anymore.

a really really big thank you to all those that have been with me, providing tons of support since Friday. to all those whom helped me, listened to my troubles when i'm having difficulty deciding what i want to major in. eventually, i'm still not able to decide, but i'm real grateful to all those advice i had at that time. it feels a lot better after you've let out all your insecurities that you've been having and listened to suggestions which may be useful. thank you for being here for me when i needed someone to talk to(:

suddenly, the world feels like such a wonderful place. when you know there will always be a group of friends you can fall back on when you're lost in life.