i wished that everyone will do well but i can't help feeling so disappointed in myself. its not that i think too highly of myself, or i look down on others. but, somehow, i thought i will be one of those that did quite well or at least better.

when i look at my results without comparing i don't feel that bad as i find it okay even though i'm disappointed. after all, i know what mistakes i did. but its with comparison when you finally feel the setback. it feels as though the effort you've put in, which you know is so much more than some others isn't reaped at all. it seems as though life is meant to fail you. it is as if the whole world moved forward in a fast forward motion to do better when you're the only one standing still. i don't know how i should feel now. really.

sometimes i wish, my world consist of only me. so i wouldn't feel the heartache i get because of what i don't get to have in the end.