I'm going to sound like an alcoholic. But I like drinking nowadays whenever I meet obstacles.
Something about drinking just gives me the delusion that I can forget everything & then move on with life again, when it is completely not true.

Life's pretty screwed up. Thanks to myself who realized some super important stuff very late in life. Sometimes I wonder what if I've known it much earlier. Will it have changed anything? But at times, like this, I choose to be grateful to how my life had turn out to be.

Yes, & I'll stay true to myself this time round. So please give me lots of courage and determination, & five years down the road I can be proud and say that I've stayed true all this time.

Hahahaha, trying to sound real positive, but in reality, I feel like crying now.

Crying - something that I had done a lot in my first sem in uni. I swear it is karma, for doubting the fact that tears can't be controlled, when it really can't be controlled.

I guess I'll start keeping a diary again like what I did last time, & laugh at whatever I wrote inside a few months later. Even though, I still feel the same way, over and over again.

& then, I'm a fickle minded bitch. I want to change that soon. I will change that soon. & I will become a better person soon. So, the stars which I love a lot, please watch over me well.

Lastly, I've to learn not to expect too much. Some things, once you miss it, will never be yours again. So all we can do at that point in time, is learn to move on. I won't be the old stupid me again. Instead of forcing myself to run away like the previous times, I'll move as slowly as a turtle, so by the time I reach the end of the memory journey, I'll be able to say goodbye graciously.

就如果我可以喜歡那個喜歡我的。
就如果我可以把你放下。
又如果你不曾再度出現在我的人生裡。
那我是不是會好過一點?
好想你，想念那個會問我最近好嗎， 在去露營之前安慰我的你。
我想你了。
但是， 你應該沒有在想我吧。
所以， 就讓我忘掉你好嗎?
答應自己， 做一輩子的朋友就好。