the last day of 2011.
shall dedicate this post to my boy who's awesome somehow ♥
thank you for showing me that everything can actually be wonderful once we talk it out.
♥ the long and random conversations and how you put up with me whining when we were at TTW.
its somewhat regretful that you won't be there to write my new year resolution with me tmr, but well, we can write one for us together soon.
hopefully we will have even more awesome moments next year.
♥
cheesiness is appreciated when you know you want it (:
thanks for being pretty okay 2011. and those who made a difference to my life this year or bothered sending me a specialized xmas text. yall are ♥ed too (:

Less than half an hour before my favorite's boy birthday is officially over.
Don't feel like tweeting anymore. So. Here it is
10 Reasons why i Love Him

1. He has the most awesome smile ever. The smile that can make you feel warm, make you tear or just make you smile with him.
2. How he looks old but yet has a childish nature to him. He's always looking out for others during hard times acting as the brother, but when playing, he's always the most childish one.
3. His determination. If only I have that.
4. How he doesn't waver or give up just because of the obstacles he faces. The way he holds on to his dreams makes me want to be like that too.
5. His obsession with cats and his cuteness.
6. His so perfect voice.
7. How beneath his manly image, he has a domestic side to him.
8. His ability to study and the fact that he looks like Harry Potter.
9. His way too cheesy smile, way too cheesy choice of songs.
10. Well, he's the ideal man.

being able to tell my friends that i'm sick and that i don't feel like doing anything, but am unable to say that to my boy. why so? so dysfunctional. sigh. if you just ask, maybe i'll tell you everything right now.

"I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest. I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. Bring me soup or orange juice when I’m sick. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum. Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will kiss me in the pouring rain. I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I’m on the phone. I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked. I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I’m sick, and would play with my hair. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me."

I thought I had found the perfect one when Im able to look at the list and match what he did for me with it. But maybe life isn't about seeing how many of the things he did for you match with the perfect boy. Our imperfections that seem to match with each other, now seem to be our obstacles instead. Me refusing to talk again, and you, not remembering again.

Maybe, I haven't found what I'm looking for. Maybe. But for the longest time ever, I really thought we were perfect together.

Need food therapy soon, so that I will have the courage to continue this with you. After all, you are the only thing I want right now.